Suicide by Phone

November 1, 2006 at 9:03 pm (music, people, places, and other things)

Today’s favorite lyric:

One hand on the trigger of the telephone

Can you name that tune?


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All Hallow’s Eve

October 31, 2006 at 3:42 pm (Movies, Special occasions)

seishi.jpgAh, Halloween. That time of year when I get to dress all in black and wear fangs and paint my lips blood red. Oh. Wait. That’s not different from any other day. Except for the fangs.

Actually, I was disappointed to realize that wearing all black to work wasn’t going to get any reactions. He of the Great Calves wore black slacks, a black button down and a black blazer to work and looked oh, so cool. I wear all black several times a week. Hmmmm….maybe on Halloween I could wear all white. Or all green. Or all orange! Ewwwe! But that would mean I’d need new clothes, because I own no white, green or orange pants OR skirts. I do have a lovely black skirt, though. Well, actually, I have 3. No 4. I think…I might be missing one.

We have made a it a tradition to have people over for a B-rated horror movie on Halloween. We all take turns passing out candy at the door and have a blast MST3K-ing the movie. The first year, before we discovered the joy of B movies, we watched the X-Files episode Home, a stand-alone episode that, for me, was entirely uncharacteristic of the X-Files, a fabulous episode and one I will never be able to watch again. Mulder and Scully investigate the murder of a malformed infant and discover a grotesquely inbreed family. Apparently it was so controversial that even Fox would not air the show a second time, although they managed to get it past censors due to brilliant lighting, timing and reveal techniques. I’m not sure what disturbed me most; the infanticide that is apparently a common thing for the family or the incest between the disfigured brothers and the quadruple amputee mother. In any case, it took two hours of comedy to cleanse my brain enough to sleep that night. (And *I’m* the one who enjoys the horror flicks!)

In searching for a movie the next year, we stumbled across the B movie genre (we are A people, you see, so we didn’t realize how enjoyable B stuff can be) and a tradition was begun. We do, however, encourage spooky costumes and foods.

I found a great source online for movie ideas called Exclamations Mark’s SciFi/Horror Review. He’s recommending ‘The Brain That Wouldn’t Die‘ this year.

Although not a Halloween movie, I think my favorite B movie so far is ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.’ But my favorite B costume was my own Kudzu Zombie…

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Dharma Karma

October 26, 2006 at 8:06 pm (He of the Great Calves, me, myself, I and she)

Dharma and GregOne of my favorite TV shows is Dharma and Greg. Because we spent, oh, about 5 or 6 years, at least, without cable or satellite or any other kind of TV (you don’t get much with an antennae when you’re in the deep mid-west), I’m way behind the times and just discovered it recently. But thanks to WE, I can now enjoy it for 2 solid hours every evening after work. Whoopee! I have to admit, though, that I’m offended on her behalf that WE calls Dharma ‘hippy, dippy, groovy and free’. I mean, the hippy, groovy, free stuff I agree with. The dippy, I think, they just threw in because she’s naive to Greg’s world and, mostly, she’s blonde. Blondes always get a bum wrap.

He of the Great Calves rarely watches it with me, but lately he’s been keeping me company while I watch. The other day he asked me if I thought our relationship was like theirs. Well, um, no…I hadn’t really noticed much. But he did. Apparently I’m the goofy one and he’s the dyed-in-wool conservative. Which I didn’t realize, even after over 10 years of marriage. I mean, we’re both so MOR when it comes to politics.

My personal opinion is that there is never a good candidate, just a ‘not as bad as the rest’ candidate. And that’s who I vote for. There are a few issues I won’t bend on, so I’ll vote against someone if they don’t line up with me on those, but, usually, that’s what makes the other person not as bad; because they agree with me. I thought he felt the same. I still think he does.

Now, I could go on and on about what those hot issues are for me, and it could be delicious fun, but if you disagree with me, you’d feel compelled to tell me what an idiot I am and, after being compared to Dharma, I’m not sure I can handle that particular comment.

Because, after giving it some thought, I think I agree that we are a bit like the TV couple. I tend to dive in to anything that catches my attention, while he tends to dip in a toe, then a foot, then a leg, and then sleep on it before he wades in to his hips. (By the time he’s in the water, I’m almost ready to dry off and take a nap.) My fashion is a little darker than Dharma’s, as I tend to go a bit Bohemian when I can…Bohemian crossed with goth on top of Levi’s, really. It’s a bit odd, but I’ve noticed that Dharma has quite the varied wardrobe as well. From ‘my husband is running for Senate and I look like I could, too’ to ‘my parents were hippies and I’m a hippy and I dare you to say something about it because then I can make you talk about your feelings and make you a better person.’

There are probably more ways we’re alike, too, I just hope one of them isn’t the dippy part.

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The Unvarnished Truth

October 25, 2006 at 7:38 pm (people, places, and other things)

This morning I walked into my co-workers office (my boss is out today) and said, “I am telling you this because I believe that, as my co-worker, you deserve the complete and unvarnished truth: I am currently on the winning side of fighting a migraine. If, at any time, I slip to the losing side, I will inform you immediately because I’m never there long before TKO. But, as I said, for the sake of complete honesty, I may or may not be here this afternoon. I know that totally makes your day a little unsure, but, again, I’m just being honest.”

He said, “Oh. Ok.”

It was a little unfulfilling. I mean, I put THOUGHT into that speech! I practiced it in my head before walking in! Nevermind that it came out as, “Um…I’m fighting a migraine, so the light in my office is out, but I’m still trying to actually work. Just so you know.” I still thought I deserved, well, something better than “Oh. OK.”

So I rewarded my honesty and mostly unvarnished truth with a visit to Que Sera Sera. Reading her ‘about’ page, I found the interveiw she did with Leah at LeahPeah where I discovered that she used to write print ads for things like the Long Honker Goose Call. So, of course, I had to click the link and see if it actually was a goose call. And, as you can see from the print part of the ad, it is. But, seriously…I just can’t see the red-neck hunter boys I know putting their mouth on that thing! I can’t see me putting my mouth on that thing!

But it made me laugh, and that’s a good thing on a migraine day.

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A Fresh Start

October 25, 2006 at 3:29 pm (me, myself, I and she)

I’ve been blogging for, oh, years. But I advertise my blog to the world…all my friends know about it, some of my family actually read it, my pictures are all over it, and you can figure out precisely where I live, what chair in what room I sit in, the exact UTM of that chair simply by reading enough of it.

So I have created a new space. People who know me well and find it will probably figure out who I am quickly enough, but most people will remain clueless because, well, they only know one of me. Here will be writings that are, well, more about all of those who live in me. You know, Me, Myself, I and She.

Who else will I write about? Well, there’s my husband, He of the Great Calves, aka The Physicist and, privately at home, The Good Doctor. There are also the pets, Copper Cutie, aka The Perpetually Hopeful One (Hopeful, for short) and Playful Pup, aka The Eternally Joyful One (Happy-Happy, Joy-Joy) are the most beautiful and wonderful golden retrievers ever created by man, The Fish in the Corner of my office, and, occasionally, briefly and clandestinely, those whom I work with at The Shed.

Other characters will show up from time to time and will be named upon their introduction. Or not. Just depends. In any case, I don’t expect to have a lot of readers, but I don’t want to take any chances and corrupt any of the innocent minds that I know. Innocent minds I don’t know aren’t my problem.

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October 25, 2006 at 8:14 am (Disclaimer)

In my ambitious vision to turn every life event into a story of epic, comedic or dramatic value, some of the specifics are {gasp} exaggerated. Or downright inventions of my imagination. All posts are ”based on a true story,” but we all know how things get embellished, don’t we? The people and places mentioned are neither completely described nor quoted in context in all cases, and occasionally a story is more of a “don’t I wish” event than a “ain’t I the shit” event. If I fail to point this out in any particular post, you have been forewarned and I don’t want any bitchin’. Capisca?

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